In The Broken Places

The headline last week read, “Lower Manhattan Thriving After 9/11, Study Says,” and the story talked about how it’s “back and better than ever” pointing to population, economic and other growth.

 

At first I thought, “That’s great!” And then I remembered a few things and it made even more sense…

 

One of the best parts of my all-time favorite novel, A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway goes, “If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places…” Strong at the broken places. Lower Manhattan Thriving After 9/11.

 

Then I remembered, “But he (God) said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).”

 

Strong at the broken places. Lower Manhattan Thriving After 9/11. For when I am weak, then I am strong…

 

We know these are true. We’ve seen it many times. And yet, we are so used to avoiding our broken places – they make us uncomfortable, they can make us feel ashamed – we just want them to go away! We put a lot of effort to cover, hide, and numb them – not to much success though. I think part of the math is that if we “go there” to the broken places, we are just going to become more broken. But…

 

Strong at the broken places. Lower Manhattan Thriving after 9/11. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

 

It doesn’t help that we often think of “saints” as people who don’t have any broken places. I don’t think I ever thought that way, but I really don’t now. The most beautiful faith stories are the ones in which people saw the truth of their broken places, named them, let God in to heal them and then used that healing to comfort others. That’s the real deal! People who operate as if they have no broken places and who don’t need God or others are usually in the most pain and will only end up harming themselves even worse.

 

I know you and I have our broken places. Real and painful. Some are because of loss and grief. Some are because of being harmed or abused. Some are because we made destructive decisions. Some are because we are addicted. Some are because we are separated or divorced. Some are because of dysfunctional relationships. Some are because of a lost job or career. Some are because of heartbreak and losing heart. There is so much brokenness in our lives and in this world! Oh, how I wish it weren’t like this! But all I can tell you is how God works – works through – not around – all the brokenness. And, He often meets us most powerfully, most obviously, and most vividly at our broken places…

 

Strong at the broken places. Lower Manhattan Thriving after 9/11. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

 

If you are waiting for everything to go back to normal, if you are waiting to wake up as if it were all a dream, if you are waiting until you are better or “more together” – that may not work nor may not happen. But please know you already have everything you need for God’s healing and restoration to begin…

 

It doesn’t end at our broken places; it begins.

 

Amen!

 

PS – And I would go there with you if you needed me to…

 

 

 

Rev. Christopher B. Wolf

Isaiah 42:7

cbrianwolf@gmail.com

www.christopherbwolf.com

 

Christopher B. Wolf is the author of Giving Faith a Second Chance: Restarts, Mulligans and Do-Overs (2007) and the forthcoming, With You: Every Step of the Way (September, 2011).

 

“It is a matter of sharing and bearing the pain and puzzlement of the world so that the crucified love of God in Christ may be brought to bear healingly upon the world at exactly that point.” N.T. Wright

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Broken Hearts

Psalm 51

Broken Hearts

Let me ask you this…How many times have you been asked how you are doing and you have said, “Fine” when you really weren’t? We have all done it. And we do this for a lot of reasons, I understand that. But today we are talking about the times when we really aren’t fine.

How about in prayer? When we are talking to God, do we say something like, “Hi God, I am doing fine, don’t really need anything. Thanks, Bye.” Please don’t laugh – this is what we do!

Somewhere along the way we build and put on the mask. This mask of everything is ok and I can handle everything and no one is going to know me or hurt me.

Psalm 51 is the ultimate prayer of confession. It puts all out there; it is an unmasking. “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you alone, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are justified in your sentence and blameless when you pass judgment (3-4). Translation, “I am busted, I am wrong, and I know it and you know it God.”

Here is what we do instead. We say “What sins?” We say, “I put those under the rug, so we can’t talk about them; off-limits and not relevant anymore.” We say, “What are you talking about; I don’t do anything wrong.”

And that works for a while. When we say, “What sins?” we exploit other people’s understanding and mercy and blindness. As well, these rugs seem to have a lot more space than it seems.

But it doesn’t work with God. “You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart (6).” We can hide, avoid and fool others but at some point we meet God in a different place than anybody else – this “inward being.” And it says God desires truth there.

And, I would add that it is not just stuff we have done. It is when other people have hurt us too that completes our total brokenness ratio.

Please read the following lyrics closely. This song was offered during worship a years ago.

Broken Things

You can have my heart
Though it isn’t new
It’s been used and broken
And only comes in blue
It’s been down a long road
And it got dirty on the way
If I give it to you will you make it clean
And wash the shame away

You can have my heart
If you don’t mind broken things
You can have my life if you don’t mind these tears
Well I heard that you make old things new
So I give these pieces all to you
If you want it you can have my heart

So beyond repair
Nothing I could do
I tried to fix it myself
But it was only worse when I got through
Then you walked into my darkness
And you speak words so sweet
And you hold me like a child
Till my frozen tears fall at your feet

By Julie Miller

BMG Songs Inc/Verdugo Music/Word Music(ASCAP)

See, God works best with broken hearts. Because when our hearts and our lives are broken and we are able to say it, the sin and the pride have been shattered and it that is when His grace can pour and flood into our hearts. And it is then that we can truly know Him and His wondrous love. Until then, it is all surface – the mask; superficial and going through the motions. Until then the grace can only seep or drip through and we know that it isn’t enough.

After the confession part of Psalm 51, it proclaims, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain in me a willing spirit (12). Salvation in Jesus is joyous. The question has to be asked of many believers, “Where is the joy?”

We won’t know the “joy of God’s salvation” in Jesus, until we acknowledge our brokenness. We won’t know this joy if we keep convincing ourselves and telling everyone else that we are fine and everything is okay – when we aren’t.

One more thing – you’re not alone. We get to thinking that we are the only one who is broken. We are look around at others or down the pew in church and think, “They have it together.” But in fact, “they” are looking at you thinking the same thing. We all have our broken pieces – each one of us – me too.

And God wants to work with them and through them; and He brings people into our lives who want to listen and hold our hands through it all.

Maybe it’s time to let Him; and let others help too.

Amen.

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Fear Factor

It’s a tale of two houses.

 

Some see it as “God’s House.” Some see it as a Haunted House.

 

Many see it and think “home.” Many see it and think, “You’re not welcome.”

 

A lot of people see it as a place of acceptance. A lot of people see it as a place of intolerance and hypocrisy.

 

Church.

 

“You know, Christopher, church is a scary place,” Karen said last week with all seriousness. 

 

And she goes to church nearly every week.

 

So, what can make church be a scary place?

 

Judgment and condemnation are part of the equation. Being told with words and/or nonverbal communication that you are not worthy of God’s love would drive anyone away. Sometimes the judgment is subtle, and sometimes it’s overt. Christians often fall into the trap of judging external things like: job, wealth, the car, the school the kids attend, clothing, appearance, education – even by the church one attends. And this judgment keeps people at a distance by design. It basically says, “I have already decided about you, so don’t come any closer.” Judgment is the religious method of excluding. 

 

Another component is the fact that many Christians lead a kind of “double life,” or are unable to freely reveal who they really are – faults, wounds and all. As a result, there is the religious person and then the “regular” person. The Sunday morning “me” and the rest of the week “me.” I am the first to admit that following Christ is not easy. But when Christians play this game of pretending, it is easily seen through. It’s discouraging, it’s an ineffective witness, and it doesn’t build trust. So, you can see that when someone is thinking about coming to church for the first time, or returning to church, the idea of going to a place where the people are acting in ways that don’t build trust – as a way of operating – it’s kind of scary.

 

Church is also made scary by the expectation that you need to be holy, perfect and whole when you arrive. There is a myth that life as a Christian is problem-free. And it is truly mythical – God does not promise an easy road – He promises a purposeful road lined with sanctification, comfort and hope that ultimately leads to Him. Yet we seem to want to perpetuate this myth. It is getting dressed up or putting on a good face – that is what many do. Not only that – before you enter, you better know the Bible really well, sing in key, don’t have tattoos, and look like you have it all together. In many churches, sadly, there is little room for brokenness or being at the end of your rope and really needing the Lord. So, I can imagine how scary it would be to worry about whether your brokenness is showing.  

 

Can we be honest? We are all broken. No one is whole or perfect. Some are healthier than others. Some people have just learned how to hide the brokenness better than others.

 

Finally, it doesn’t dispel fears when churches often become a home of division, criticism and conflict. Many people live in some form or degree of conflict and are looking for…peace. Churches were meant to be safe places – sanctuaries, right? But whether we read it in the media or hear about from others, churches can be very scary places in the way Christians treat fellow Christians. Pastors and leaders are relentlessly criticized and often left undefended; factions within churches wage “wars” to protect “their” church; grudges and hard feelings overwhelm efforts at reconciliation; people leave if they aren’t getting what they want. “That’s no different than the rest of the world,” many seeking peace conclude.  

 

Some good news?

 

Often, the people in churches who are judging, faking it, imposing outrageous expectations, and being divisive are usually just hurting people who are in need of grace, too. They are in need of being lovingly confronted and taught – which often doesn’t happen because the rest of the Christians who are earnestly trying are either too polite or afraid to do that.

 

In my experience, most of the people I have come to know and love in churches are extraordinary and faithful people, who love the Lord and want to share that love and grace with others.

 

Here’s the thing: Jesus said and demonstrated, “and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away (John 6:37).” And since we are His body here on earth until He returns, we need to be imitating Him. And one of the main ways we can do that is to treat people as He would have us do, including those who are earnestly seeking Him.

 

That is the way church started out in the beginning. They were known as the “People of the Way” with room for anyone seeking Him. And then somewhere along that “way,” it became “for us” meaning whoever was already there, rather than “for them.” And thereafter, even today, many of the doors either closed or needed “keys.” 

 

And yet, I know this – that churches are the places through which God has chosen to begin to put the broken pieces of our lives, as well as the pieces of His kingdom, together. So, how do we transform the image of church from appearing like a Haunted House to many into an Open House filled with love and grace and the life-changing power of God’s Word and Spirit? How are we going to stop playing into the fears? How are we going to build trust?

 

Well, as with any new start…it begins with prayer. And in this case, a prayer of confession.

 

Let us pray…

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Reaching, Finding, Healing

 

 

 

“My dear friends, if you know people who have wandered off from God’s truth, don’t write them off. Go after them. Get them back and you will have rescued precious lives from destruction and prevented an epidemic of wandering from God.” James 5:19-20 The Message

 

 

I want to tell you about an important scene from one of my favorite movies, Seabiscuit (2003). It is one of my favorite movies because it so beautifully illustrates grace. Charles Howard is a man haunted by loss and death, looking to buy a horse and he goes through all the regular channels. But out of the corner of his eye he notices something different. He notices a “crackpot” horse trainer named Tom Smith. Later on, under the cover of night (like Nicodemus) Charles comes to find Tom. He notices that Tom is treating an older horse that no one else wanted and asks why he is “fixing” the horse. Tom explains that every horse is good for something. And then Tom says a line that I always remember – it is at the heart of the grace of Jesus Christ and the heart of my ministry, “You know, you don’t throw a whole life away just ‘cause he’s banged up a little.”

 

Banged up a little. That’s all of us – whether we are open about it or not. Whether it is visible or not. Whether it was by our choice (sin) or by circumstances and events. That is one of things I was reminded of yesterday about why Youth Sunday always stands out. The brave young people who shared their testimonies poignantly reminded us that we are all banged up a little. The difference – each year, several of our wonderful young people speak bravely and openly about it. No pretense, no apologies –

just authenticity, some tears and hope – a lot of hope.

 

Speaking of hope. “We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost. We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way. And God has piled all our sins everything we’ve done wrong, on him, on him (Jesus) (Isaiah 53:6).” It is by this fact that we are people of grace – received, undeserved, unearned grace as in forgiveness.

 

See, God didn’t write us off, when he could have. Sometimes Christians and churches get so good at celebrating God’s grace that we forget that God could have written us off. And we lose sight of what it was/is to be without grace and a kind of blindness develops to those who are “banged up” and who have wandered away from God.

 

That is why, when we are tempted to think people are less than perfect and don’t belong and to think that lives can be written off, we need to stop and listen…

 

“My dear friends, if you know people who have wandered off from God’s truth, don’t write them off. Go after them. Get them back and you will have rescued precious lives from destruction and prevented an epidemic of wandering from God (James 5:19-20).” 

 

Do you know someone who has wandered off from God’s truth? Do you know some people who are “banged up a little” or worse? I know I do. And I have been going after them for most of my life. I do because first I know that I am “banged up a little” and I know the grace by which I am saved – for which I am eternally thankful. And I do this because I believe every life is precious to God, even if they are “banged up a little.”

 

It is hard to precisely put into words how amazing it feels when God has allowed me to be a part of “getting them back and rescuing precious lives…” It is a peace beyond words and it feels sacred; it is the true definition of fulfillment for me. I know that I experience healing when I am a part of others’ healing. God is the initiator of grace, but if we are faithful, the grace we receive can be shared and multiplied – and really that was God’s design – for the grace to be shared. And how “wonderful and marvelous” it is to play a lead role or even to be an “extra”   in stories of grace and redemption. And though I may not get it right every time, it is at the core of my soul.   

 

As many of you know, the partnership of Charles Howard and Tom Smith led to finding the rider Red Pollard and the horse Seabiscuit. It is story of winning despite lost causes; it is story of finding and sharing grace and healing in the midst of brokenness; it’s about redemption. At the end of the film, during the last race, the sound of hoofs and cheers recedes to the musical theme played softly and to Red’s voice, who explains, “You know, everybody thinks we found this broken down horse and fixed him. But we didn’t. He fixed us. Every one of us (as the camera shows each of the main characters). And I guess in a way, we kinda fixed each other too.”

 

See, when it comes to people, according to God – and therefore to us, there is no such thing as a lost cause. And to believe this – to live this – is to be in the palm of Jesus’ outstretched hand.

 

We can’t prevent or stop all the wandering and the dents that we get in life – self-inflicted or the ones that just happen. But we can experience and be a part of the reaching, finding and healing.

 

That is where I want to be.

 

Will you join me?

 

Amen.

 

Discussion Questions

1. What is your own redemption story? Have you ever shared it with anyone? Would you like to share it with me?
2. Have you ever been a part of someone else’s healing and grace? What did that feel like?
3. Can you think of someone for whom you can be a part of reaching, finding and healing? What will you do about it?
4. How you can share some grace today?

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Saving Lives

Saving Lives 

There is this song on the radio, sometimes on Christian radio stations too, called “How to Save a Life” by The Fray. It has been out for a while, but even now when I hear it, I listen. It is a pretty good song, but the real reason why I listen is the title and lyric, “And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life.”  

According to a band related website, the song was inspired by the lead singer’s experience as a mentor at a camp for troubled teens. One (click on the word video to watch it) video for the song shows the band performing the song as many “regular” people with different emotions are shown; some happy, some sad, mixed in with numbered steps (of how to save a life), “have faith,” “believe,” “let go,” “remember,” and “say goodbye.”  

I never worked at a camp like that, but already when I was in high school I was watching out for friends and adults even who were troubled by many things. And it was also at that time that I began to dream of saving lives – that continues to this day. 

But what does that mean – saving lives? How does one save a life? From what are people saved? What does it look like? I know for a while, before I conceived of saving people in Biblical terms, I always thought of this line from a poem attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson titled, “Success.” The line reads, “To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” I always liked that. I wanted to be that person for people.  

The song goes, “And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life.” I have stayed up at night praying and listening to people, trying to save them. I know for me it comes from a good place – a place of care and compassion. For me “saving” someone has meant being an instrument of hope in the midst of despair; never quitting on someone even when they wanted to (or when I sometimes didn’t want to keep trying); helping to make sense of senseless things; being proof of God and his love and grace in Jesus Christ; showing someone that they had value in this world when all else said otherwise.    

How many times though have I wished that I could save a life? Maybe I have and I don’t know it. I know that I have prayed many times for God to use me in that way. My Dad used to be an EMT and I know he has saved many lives through CPR. What an amazing thing. 

I fully confess there is something egotistical about thinking this way. Believe me, I have thought of that. Who am I to think that I can save others? Well, it’s not exactly like that. Don’t I need saving too? Yes, please! And in fact I can think of a bunch of times that I have been saved. Starting with God bringing me to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. But also my mother Kate deciding to keep me safe in her womb even though she wasn’t married and was under pressure to get an abortion. Another “save” was when a cute, very joyful girl named Jennifer at college who became my best friend and wife and has shown me unconditional love. Or a little boy named Brian who I literally dreamed of before he was born and whose birth opened me up to my life’s purpose and saved me from what would have been a miserable career track. 

The thing is that God was working through all of those “saves” because in fact, God is the only one who can do the saving – eternally and in the living of our lives. And I guess what I am trying to do is use the gift of salvation and of abundant life that I have been given and extend it to others. Out of my brokenness, out of all that I have been given as well as lost, I reach out with a healing hand to others.   

You see, as glorious as “saving lives” sounds, there is a cost – a cost mere mortals like you and me aren’t often willing to pay. The Jesus model of saving involves losing a life to save a life. He lost his life to save ours. His was no ordinary life though. It was the fact that He was the Son of God, and that He gave His innocent, sinless life that opened the door for eternal salvation and redeemed us. This is why we think of military, fire and police personnel with such regard, because they are willing to put their lives on the line for others at a great cost and sometimes at the ultimate cost. 

And then there are these words of Jesus, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and the gospel will save it (Mark 8:35).” Even to have the abundant life God promises, we have to lose ourselves in order to be saved from ourselves by Christ. Do you know what I mean?  

“And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life.” How to save a life? It starts with a willingness to lose ourselves – our pride, our ego, our self-sufficiency, our sinfulness – in Christ. And then through that, it takes a willingness to lose and sacrifice ourselves on behalf of someone else – for no other reason than love, pure love, agape love – not because we get something out of it. Saving a life, truly saving a life, means losing a life or parts of a life. 

Amen.  

Discussion Questions

1. Are there people in your life that you would love to save or have saved? What can be done for them?
2. How do you define “saving a life?” What does it look like?
3. Can you think of some times in your life when you sacrificed for someone else? What was the experience of that?
4.  Have you let Jesus save you yet? Or are you still trying to save yourself? If you want to, email or call me so we can talk about what that means.

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Nearness and Hope

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

This seems like a world of heartbreak. You can look in the newspaper or watch the news for heartbreak. But we know it is much closer than that.  

There is the heartbreak of today. Sometimes it is the struggles in our families that are in our faces all the time. The job loss or impending job loss that seems to negate or ignore decades of hard work. There is the heartbreak of today that cuts each time we look at a spouse that we don’t even know anymore. When we failed the test or exam. There is the heartbreak of today that hurts each time we think of the family member or friend we can’t reach in faith and love.     

What does “brokenhearted” mean? According to the dictionary, “Overcome by grief or despair.” But in real life it is this awful, beyond words feeling. It feels like there is no hope – that it can’t be fixed or can’t get better. It feels like your eyes cannot possibly produce the amount of tears that are welled up inside. It is hard to breathe, hard to move, hard to live.  

Then there is the heartbreak of yesterday. Our hearts and our memories have their share of heartbreak – this cumulative heartbreak of life. Standing at the end of the bed in ICU as your loved one’s pulse slowly, gradually descends to zero. The family, friends and people we didn’t allow to reach us. All the failures, all the attempts, all the dead ends. The quiet but permanent changes in cherished relationships. When we didn’t make the team. These are shattered pieces of yesterday’s heartbreak.     

Which leads to “crushed in spirit.” When we are “crushed in spirit” it is the feeling of absolute defeat. It is like the life has been drained or ripped out of us.  Both of these, heartbroken and “crushed in spirit” seem to have at least one thing in common – they both leave us feeling like there is nothing we can do about them when they are visited upon us… 

This verse offers a revelation. Nearness and Hope. Can’t these two make the difference? Nearness in the heartbreak of life; Hope for when all seems lost. When Jesus came into this world, God was nearer than ever before; and with the Holy Spirit’s continuing presence – God remains near. And God saves the “crushed in spirit” – it may not look like the rescue we dream of, but it is God’s character. Sometimes it is through the power of the Word, the presence of the Holy Spirit and even through other humans.   

Listen to the lyrics of the song “Broken Things” by Julie Miller, “Then you walked into my darkness/And you speak words so sweet/And you hold me like a child/Till my frozen tears fall at your feet.” This is what Jesus does; this is what we can do for each other in His name.  

Today, as you read this, as you are heartbroken, as you are crushed in spirit, please know God is near and offering you hope. 

Discussion Questions

1. Please reflect on some times of heartbreak and how it feels.
2. How can we sense that God is near?
3. Why does God allow us to become heartbroken and crushed in spirit?
4. What can you do for someone else who is heartbroken and crushed in spirit?

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