“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
Whenever I read or think about this verse, I imagine it being whispered. The best prayers are whispered. I know I say at least the first part of it quite often. For me, it is part invitation, part confession, part hope for God to be deeper in my life.
It also reminds me of how a child might pray. It is a very good thing to listen to children praying. You learn what is at the heart of praying – honest, heartfelt, faithful talking to God. Madelyn is still young enough that her prayers are so pure. I could imagine her saying something like this verse. Asking God to know her heart and her thoughts.
It is a very brave thing to invite God, or anyone else for that matter, to “search us and know our hearts, test us and know our thoughts.” Like country singer Gary Allan sings in his song, Learning How to Bend, “I’m still learning how to pray/Trying hard not to stray/Try to see things your way/I’m still learning how to pray/I’m still learning how to trust/It’s so hard to open up…”
Why do you think that is? Why is it so hard for us to open up to God? To invite the one who creates, saves and sustains us, to the depths of our hearts and lives?
Are we afraid that if we were to invite God to search us and know hearts and thoughts he might find wickedness – or even worse…emptiness? I think this is part of it.
It makes me sad that for so many, faith is mostly surface. For many, a relationship with God may go no further than an hour on Sunday and some “talking the talk.” “Sunday school answers” as our young people say. Many have a faith that never approaches the heart because that might be too scary or too close.
But this faith is so much more than surface. It is a faith of depth, of intimacy, of the heart. According to the Revell Bible Dictionary, “In Hebrew thought (The Psalms), the heart was the center of each person’s being and intellect. It is with the heart that a person feels, perceives, and makes moral choices. It is also with the heart that one seeks and responds to God.”
If our faith is not of the heart, how can we seek and respond to Him? With all this fear and staying on the surface with the Lord, we are losing out. If we keep our hearts hidden from God how can we be really in relationship with him. I want God to know my heart. I want this faith to be real – the joy and the pain. I want God to know my heart because it’s the only way it will obey, grow, heal, strengthen and become new. It’s one of the ways I will know Him more fully. Even if He has to break my heart to get in there more, I still want that.
I know it’s so hard to open up. I know it is so hard to trust. I know that many times when you have trusted others, it has ended up in hurt. But I want you to know that trusting in Him, you can never lose. It’s not like trusting in others. I really hope you hear these words today, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
I hope it is your prayer tonight that you whisper as you go to sleep. It’s a pure prayer, one that will most assuredly be answered by the one who loves us unconditionally and will lovingly enter any inviting and welcoming heart – filling up emptiness, chasing away wickedness, lighting darkness, and awakening the flame of the Holy Spirit. And once you’ve let Him in, really in, He never leaves.
Amen.
Discussion Questions
- When you read this verse, what is your immediate reaction? Why?
- Are you just “talking the talk”? How can you go deeper?
- What will God find if He searches you and knows your heart? Do you know that it’s okay, no matter what he finds there?
- What is one way you can let God in your life more?
Living Water 