It’s a tale of two houses.
Some see it as “God’s House.” Some see it as a Haunted House.
Many see it and think “home.” Many see it and think, “You’re not welcome.”
A lot of people see it as a place of acceptance. A lot of people see it as a place of intolerance and hypocrisy.
Church.
“You know, Christopher, church is a scary place,” Karen said last week with all seriousness.
And she goes to church nearly every week.
So, what can make church be a scary place?
Judgment and condemnation are part of the equation. Being told with words and/or nonverbal communication that you are not worthy of God’s love would drive anyone away. Sometimes the judgment is subtle, and sometimes it’s overt. Christians often fall into the trap of judging external things like: job, wealth, the car, the school the kids attend, clothing, appearance, education – even by the church one attends. And this judgment keeps people at a distance by design. It basically says, “I have already decided about you, so don’t come any closer.” Judgment is the religious method of excluding.
Another component is the fact that many Christians lead a kind of “double life,” or are unable to freely reveal who they really are – faults, wounds and all. As a result, there is the religious person and then the “regular” person. The Sunday morning “me” and the rest of the week “me.” I am the first to admit that following Christ is not easy. But when Christians play this game of pretending, it is easily seen through. It’s discouraging, it’s an ineffective witness, and it doesn’t build trust. So, you can see that when someone is thinking about coming to church for the first time, or returning to church, the idea of going to a place where the people are acting in ways that don’t build trust – as a way of operating – it’s kind of scary.
Church is also made scary by the expectation that you need to be holy, perfect and whole when you arrive. There is a myth that life as a Christian is problem-free. And it is truly mythical – God does not promise an easy road – He promises a purposeful road lined with sanctification, comfort and hope that ultimately leads to Him. Yet we seem to want to perpetuate this myth. It is getting dressed up or putting on a good face – that is what many do. Not only that – before you enter, you better know the Bible really well, sing in key, don’t have tattoos, and look like you have it all together. In many churches, sadly, there is little room for brokenness or being at the end of your rope and really needing the Lord. So, I can imagine how scary it would be to worry about whether your brokenness is showing.
Can we be honest? We are all broken. No one is whole or perfect. Some are healthier than others. Some people have just learned how to hide the brokenness better than others.
Finally, it doesn’t dispel fears when churches often become a home of division, criticism and conflict. Many people live in some form or degree of conflict and are looking for…peace. Churches were meant to be safe places – sanctuaries, right? But whether we read it in the media or hear about from others, churches can be very scary places in the way Christians treat fellow Christians. Pastors and leaders are relentlessly criticized and often left undefended; factions within churches wage “wars” to protect “their” church; grudges and hard feelings overwhelm efforts at reconciliation; people leave if they aren’t getting what they want. “That’s no different than the rest of the world,” many seeking peace conclude.
Some good news?
Often, the people in churches who are judging, faking it, imposing outrageous expectations, and being divisive are usually just hurting people who are in need of grace, too. They are in need of being lovingly confronted and taught – which often doesn’t happen because the rest of the Christians who are earnestly trying are either too polite or afraid to do that.
In my experience, most of the people I have come to know and love in churches are extraordinary and faithful people, who love the Lord and want to share that love and grace with others.
Here’s the thing: Jesus said and demonstrated, “and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away (John 6:37).” And since we are His body here on earth until He returns, we need to be imitating Him. And one of the main ways we can do that is to treat people as He would have us do, including those who are earnestly seeking Him.
That is the way church started out in the beginning. They were known as the “People of the Way” with room for anyone seeking Him. And then somewhere along that “way,” it became “for us” meaning whoever was already there, rather than “for them.” And thereafter, even today, many of the doors either closed or needed “keys.”
And yet, I know this – that churches are the places through which God has chosen to begin to put the broken pieces of our lives, as well as the pieces of His kingdom, together. So, how do we transform the image of church from appearing like a Haunted House to many into an Open House filled with love and grace and the life-changing power of God’s Word and Spirit? How are we going to stop playing into the fears? How are we going to build trust?
Well, as with any new start…it begins with prayer. And in this case, a prayer of confession.
Let us pray…
Living Water 