Fear Factor

It’s a tale of two houses.

 

Some see it as “God’s House.” Some see it as a Haunted House.

 

Many see it and think “home.” Many see it and think, “You’re not welcome.”

 

A lot of people see it as a place of acceptance. A lot of people see it as a place of intolerance and hypocrisy.

 

Church.

 

“You know, Christopher, church is a scary place,” Karen said last week with all seriousness. 

 

And she goes to church nearly every week.

 

So, what can make church be a scary place?

 

Judgment and condemnation are part of the equation. Being told with words and/or nonverbal communication that you are not worthy of God’s love would drive anyone away. Sometimes the judgment is subtle, and sometimes it’s overt. Christians often fall into the trap of judging external things like: job, wealth, the car, the school the kids attend, clothing, appearance, education – even by the church one attends. And this judgment keeps people at a distance by design. It basically says, “I have already decided about you, so don’t come any closer.” Judgment is the religious method of excluding. 

 

Another component is the fact that many Christians lead a kind of “double life,” or are unable to freely reveal who they really are – faults, wounds and all. As a result, there is the religious person and then the “regular” person. The Sunday morning “me” and the rest of the week “me.” I am the first to admit that following Christ is not easy. But when Christians play this game of pretending, it is easily seen through. It’s discouraging, it’s an ineffective witness, and it doesn’t build trust. So, you can see that when someone is thinking about coming to church for the first time, or returning to church, the idea of going to a place where the people are acting in ways that don’t build trust – as a way of operating – it’s kind of scary.

 

Church is also made scary by the expectation that you need to be holy, perfect and whole when you arrive. There is a myth that life as a Christian is problem-free. And it is truly mythical – God does not promise an easy road – He promises a purposeful road lined with sanctification, comfort and hope that ultimately leads to Him. Yet we seem to want to perpetuate this myth. It is getting dressed up or putting on a good face – that is what many do. Not only that – before you enter, you better know the Bible really well, sing in key, don’t have tattoos, and look like you have it all together. In many churches, sadly, there is little room for brokenness or being at the end of your rope and really needing the Lord. So, I can imagine how scary it would be to worry about whether your brokenness is showing.  

 

Can we be honest? We are all broken. No one is whole or perfect. Some are healthier than others. Some people have just learned how to hide the brokenness better than others.

 

Finally, it doesn’t dispel fears when churches often become a home of division, criticism and conflict. Many people live in some form or degree of conflict and are looking for…peace. Churches were meant to be safe places – sanctuaries, right? But whether we read it in the media or hear about from others, churches can be very scary places in the way Christians treat fellow Christians. Pastors and leaders are relentlessly criticized and often left undefended; factions within churches wage “wars” to protect “their” church; grudges and hard feelings overwhelm efforts at reconciliation; people leave if they aren’t getting what they want. “That’s no different than the rest of the world,” many seeking peace conclude.  

 

Some good news?

 

Often, the people in churches who are judging, faking it, imposing outrageous expectations, and being divisive are usually just hurting people who are in need of grace, too. They are in need of being lovingly confronted and taught – which often doesn’t happen because the rest of the Christians who are earnestly trying are either too polite or afraid to do that.

 

In my experience, most of the people I have come to know and love in churches are extraordinary and faithful people, who love the Lord and want to share that love and grace with others.

 

Here’s the thing: Jesus said and demonstrated, “and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away (John 6:37).” And since we are His body here on earth until He returns, we need to be imitating Him. And one of the main ways we can do that is to treat people as He would have us do, including those who are earnestly seeking Him.

 

That is the way church started out in the beginning. They were known as the “People of the Way” with room for anyone seeking Him. And then somewhere along that “way,” it became “for us” meaning whoever was already there, rather than “for them.” And thereafter, even today, many of the doors either closed or needed “keys.” 

 

And yet, I know this – that churches are the places through which God has chosen to begin to put the broken pieces of our lives, as well as the pieces of His kingdom, together. So, how do we transform the image of church from appearing like a Haunted House to many into an Open House filled with love and grace and the life-changing power of God’s Word and Spirit? How are we going to stop playing into the fears? How are we going to build trust?

 

Well, as with any new start…it begins with prayer. And in this case, a prayer of confession.

 

Let us pray…

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Hospitality

Hospitality

John 6:37

 

“All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” John 6:37

 

 

My brother Ryan and I have often talked about one of our fondest memories from growing up. It’s this. Often on Saturday mornings, while running his errands, Uncle Frank would stop by, sometimes with donuts or bagels. And it was this great thing for us. I think we liked it in part because my family seemed to enjoy when people would stop by uninvited. I think we liked that we had an “open house” feel to our home. One other thing I would throw in is that it seemed like people and life were less busy then. There seemed to be time enough to stop somewhere while running errands. I miss it.  

 

Things change, don’t they? Time, it seems, has appeared to have pushed hospitality away. On one hand, I would love to say, “Hey everybody, stop by whenever you want – open house!” And likewise, I would love to hear that from all of you. But in reality, the kids, all the stuff we haven’t gotten to yet, the lists, trying to recover from a work week, the list goes on. Who has time to “just stop by?” How many times have we all heard the doorbell or a knock and looked at each other thinking, “Oh no, who is this?”  

 

Are we missing something?

 

Hospitality. Welcoming people into our homes. Welcoming people into our churches. Many churches like to think of themselves as “welcoming.” I would say our church does a pretty good job as far as churches that I have observed.

 

And yet, I learned a whole new definition of hospitality – hospitality in Christ while in Africa. For example, we climbed this pretty tall mountain one day and I had my bag with me. A bag that had some important stuff in it – water, sunscreen (very important for a pale guy like me) and some other stuff. And as we went along I kept putting small rocks in the bag because I like to give them as gifts to people – Psalm 18:2 says, “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge…” Anyway, all the way up and all the way down, I didn’t have to carry my bag. This is because Peter was carrying it. Peter lives and serves in the village in the valley and as soon as we started heading toward the mountain, he literally took my bag off my shoulder and kept it even when I protested. I thought, “He shouldn’t have to carry my bag.” But it was his way of showing Christ’s hospitality.

 

Gabriel (the missionary we work with in Nigeria and our host that week) explained to us at one point, “In America, you are about getting things done. In Africa, we are about relationships. You are more productive for sure. But we have these relationships.”

 

Almost everywhere we went, people automatically picked up our bags or luggage. It would have been offensive to them for us to carry our own things or to insist on it. When we see or greet someone, we usually say, “How are you?” or if in New Jersey, “How you doin?” J In Nigeria, their main greeting, and we heard it all week is, “You are welcome, sir.” When I first heard it, I tried to remember if I had said “Thank you.” But I hadn’t. This is how they greet people or at least visitors, “You are welcome, sir.”

 

When we went to two churches on Sunday in Nigeria, we were whisked to the front of the church. I know for some that might be scary – the front row – AHH! But it seemed to me that this was a place of honor.

 

When we would visit people’s homes or villages, it was clear that we were welcome and that anything we needed – was ours. In one village they gave us a whole branch from a banana tree about 50 little bananas on it (probably saved my life coming down the mountain). When we visited schools, the children stood up and greeted us. People made time for us and put meals and snacks together rather joyfully.

 

This is a long way to say, that the definition of Christian hospitality I learned and observed in Africa was this, “Anything I have is for you.” And I think it is the right one.

 

When I think of Jesus’ words, “…and whoever comes to me, I will never drive away (John 6:37).” When I think of Jesus’ life, how he gave it away for you and me, though we didn’t deserve it and how in spite of how we are often inhospitable to Him in our daily lives. I think we might be missing something about reflecting the hospitality of Christ.

 

Can you and I practice, “Anything I have is yours” kind of hospitality with our time, or our homes, or our money, or our faith, or churches? Are you and I up for what “Anything I have is yours” means when it comes to welcoming people into our lives? For example, on Sunday morning, can we go beyond politely greeting visitors to somehow communicating this idea? Saying, “This is my church and I give it you this morning because you have visited.”

 

How can we? It’s “ours” right? If we open up, and share, and pour out what we treasure – is it still ours? If I open my whole life to Jesus and to my family and to my friends, what will happen to the “me” that I know? Can we be like Jesus and never close off or drive away anyone who comes to us in fellowship or need?

 

Uncle Frank lives in Georgia now so he won’t be stopping by this Saturday morning. But in thinking about his visits and my visit to Africa and Jesus’ words, maybe it’s time to rethink how welcoming we are and how much we are investing in relationships – by just stopping by sometimes or welcoming those who just want to get to know us better or connect.

 

Amen.

 

Discussion Questions

1. When was the last time you stopped by just to say “hello”?
2. How is time or your schedule working for or against relationship building?
3. How do you define hospitality? Hospitality in Christ?
4. What do you think of an “Anything I have is yours” approach to living? What might get in the way of this?
5. Have you ever experienced the kind of hospitality I described? Where and what did you observe about it?

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