Hello! Here is this week’s Living Water! It is a chapter from my first book – Giving Faith a Second Chance. It is the first chapter from Part III – A Second Chance Offers…Possibility. It is a series of chapters that communicate about what happens when people give faith a second chance. This chapter in the book is called A Second Chance Offers…Truth. In the original manuscript it was called “Ultimate Us.” Always feel free to share Living Water! Peace, Christopher
Ultimate Us
Remember how we talked about being “as sick as our secrets” before? Part of it of course is that what happened to many of us was awful. But what makes it even worse, even more damaging, is that it’s hidden and that is where it does the most damage. And while hidden it keeps working on us shaping us in destructive ways. Much like a fungus that grows in the dark, it grows and takes over after a while.
There is also this strange light of an eclipse that colors everything. As we remember, the light is strange because something has eclipsed the true light of our lives, God. And while God’s light still shines around it, the obstruction colors everything we do. And many times, to deal with it we say, “there is nothing wrong; there’s no problem.” The only problem with that is many of us can see the strange light as well. In many ways, the strange light is denial. Denial is anything that keeps us from the truth – stories, lies, rationalizations. Denial is anything we use to convince ourselves that everything is okay when it is not.
So we resolve that we are going to stay hidden so no one can find the real us. We are the life of the party so that no one looks any further. Maybe they will and maybe they won’t. But the longer we hide, the more we disappear. The more that we fade away, all that is left is a mask. In addition to that, we are going to exist in this strange light of denial, never experiencing real joy or real pain. And that is okay, we think, that is the way we want it. But, how can anyone connect to a mask and to someone in denial? But that is okay with us, we’ll risk it because we are convinced that staying hidden and unknown is safer and less painful. It may feel freeing at times to wear masks and live in denial, but it is very imprisoning.
But there is something that can make the difference: Claiming and remembering that God’s love for us is unconditional. Because we have become so performance based in everything it is very hard to imagine someone, let alone God loving us for who we are (whoever that is). And when we are loved unconditionally there is no truth in or about our lives that is so awful, painful and reprehensible that cannot be understood by God. I know, I know it sounds ridiculous. But this love of God is very much like a light. A light that can shatter any darkness. It is a light that can shine through any mask.
But we have to understand one thing. Once we let God’s light into our lives the truth becomes clearer. There is nothing so clarifying as the light of God’s love. That is why so many of us stay home from church and stay away from God. Fear, judgment – we are wise to avoid these. But we are missing out on something else. What looks horrible and awful in the dark becomes comprehensible and hopeful in God’s light and love. The disfigured face behind the mask becomes beautiful. This is the Gospel found in stories like Beauty and the Beast.
Though, the idea of being found, the idea of being unmasked is still terrifying. Because we get so used to hiding the in dark or behind masks that to come out from behind them it very uncomfortable – thus misery…at first.
Listen to these words from Jesus, “If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; and you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” Now, from my perspective he is talking about two truths. The first is the Truth that he is the messiah. The second one is about truth – the truth of life.
One way to think of this is – we will never heal, we will never even come close to being whole, we will never be free until we acknowledge the truth of our lives.
It is only when we engage and inspect and accept the truth that we can begin to heal; but we don’t have to do this alone. The alternate ending to a life of masks and strange light and darkness is being held by God and living in the truth.
The masks and the secrets can melt and dissolve away; revealing the truth of our lives, which is God’s work still in progress – remember the reason and how he is making all things new. Darkness and denial and secrets can’t stop it. The light of God’s love can melt and shatter them, if we become brave enough to let it in.
And in that light, there is a way in which like some kind of miracle mirror – instead of seeing the damaged, masked, hidden and unrecognizable image of ourselves we see each day, we can begin to see the face that God lovingly sees, the face, the person, which is the possible, ultimate us…
Reflection Questions
Can you think of some areas of your life about which you are in denial?
What do you think or feel when you hear the idea that what is horrible in our lives can become “comprehensible and hopeful” in God’s light and love?
Can you think of some things to face the truth about as well as some things that need to be let go?
Rev. Christopher B. Wolf
Isaiah 42:7
Christopher B. Wolf is pastor of First Reformed Church of Saddle Brook, New Jersey. He is the author of Giving Faith a Second Chance: Restarts, Mulligans and Do-Overs (2007) and the forthcoming, With You Every Step of the Way (2011).
“It is a matter of sharing and bearing the pain and puzzlement of the world so that the crucified love of God in Christ may be brought to bear healingly upon the world at exactly that point.” N.T. Wright
Living Water 