Broken Hearts

Psalm 51

Broken Hearts

Let me ask you this…How many times have you been asked how you are doing and you have said, “Fine” when you really weren’t? We have all done it. And we do this for a lot of reasons, I understand that. But today we are talking about the times when we really aren’t fine.

How about in prayer? When we are talking to God, do we say something like, “Hi God, I am doing fine, don’t really need anything. Thanks, Bye.” Please don’t laugh – this is what we do!

Somewhere along the way we build and put on the mask. This mask of everything is ok and I can handle everything and no one is going to know me or hurt me.

Psalm 51 is the ultimate prayer of confession. It puts all out there; it is an unmasking. “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you alone, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are justified in your sentence and blameless when you pass judgment (3-4). Translation, “I am busted, I am wrong, and I know it and you know it God.”

Here is what we do instead. We say “What sins?” We say, “I put those under the rug, so we can’t talk about them; off-limits and not relevant anymore.” We say, “What are you talking about; I don’t do anything wrong.”

And that works for a while. When we say, “What sins?” we exploit other people’s understanding and mercy and blindness. As well, these rugs seem to have a lot more space than it seems.

But it doesn’t work with God. “You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart (6).” We can hide, avoid and fool others but at some point we meet God in a different place than anybody else – this “inward being.” And it says God desires truth there.

And, I would add that it is not just stuff we have done. It is when other people have hurt us too that completes our total brokenness ratio.

Please read the following lyrics closely. This song was offered during worship a years ago.

Broken Things

You can have my heart
Though it isn’t new
It’s been used and broken
And only comes in blue
It’s been down a long road
And it got dirty on the way
If I give it to you will you make it clean
And wash the shame away

You can have my heart
If you don’t mind broken things
You can have my life if you don’t mind these tears
Well I heard that you make old things new
So I give these pieces all to you
If you want it you can have my heart

So beyond repair
Nothing I could do
I tried to fix it myself
But it was only worse when I got through
Then you walked into my darkness
And you speak words so sweet
And you hold me like a child
Till my frozen tears fall at your feet

By Julie Miller

BMG Songs Inc/Verdugo Music/Word Music(ASCAP)

See, God works best with broken hearts. Because when our hearts and our lives are broken and we are able to say it, the sin and the pride have been shattered and it that is when His grace can pour and flood into our hearts. And it is then that we can truly know Him and His wondrous love. Until then, it is all surface – the mask; superficial and going through the motions. Until then the grace can only seep or drip through and we know that it isn’t enough.

After the confession part of Psalm 51, it proclaims, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain in me a willing spirit (12). Salvation in Jesus is joyous. The question has to be asked of many believers, “Where is the joy?”

We won’t know the “joy of God’s salvation” in Jesus, until we acknowledge our brokenness. We won’t know this joy if we keep convincing ourselves and telling everyone else that we are fine and everything is okay – when we aren’t.

One more thing – you’re not alone. We get to thinking that we are the only one who is broken. We are look around at others or down the pew in church and think, “They have it together.” But in fact, “they” are looking at you thinking the same thing. We all have our broken pieces – each one of us – me too.

And God wants to work with them and through them; and He brings people into our lives who want to listen and hold our hands through it all.

Maybe it’s time to let Him; and let others help too.

Amen.

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By Heart

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

 

 

Whenever I read or think about this verse, I imagine it being whispered. The best prayers are whispered. I know I say at least the first part of it quite often. For me, it is part invitation, part confession, part hope for God to be deeper in my life.  

 

It also reminds me of how a child might pray. It is a very good thing to listen to children praying. You learn what is at the heart of praying – honest, heartfelt, faithful talking to God. Madelyn is still young enough that her prayers are so pure. I could imagine her saying something like this verse. Asking God to know her heart and her thoughts.

 

It is a very brave thing to invite God, or anyone else for that matter, to “search us and know our hearts, test us and know our thoughts.” Like country singer Gary Allan sings in his song, Learning How to Bend, “I’m still learning how to pray/Trying hard not to stray/Try to see things your way/I’m still learning how to pray/I’m still learning how to trust/It’s so hard to open up…”

 

Why do you think that is? Why is it so hard for us to open up to God? To invite the one who creates, saves and sustains us, to the depths of our hearts and lives?

 

Are we afraid that if we were to invite God to search us and know hearts and thoughts he might find wickedness – or even worse…emptiness? I think this is part of it.

 

It makes me sad that for so many, faith is mostly surface. For many, a relationship with God may go no further than an hour on Sunday and some “talking the talk.” “Sunday school answers” as our young people say. Many have a faith that never approaches the heart because that might be too scary or too close.

 

But this faith is so much more than surface. It is a faith of depth, of intimacy, of the heart. According to the Revell Bible Dictionary, “In Hebrew thought (The Psalms), the heart was the center of each person’s being and intellect. It is with the heart that a person feels, perceives, and makes moral choices. It is also with the heart that one seeks and responds to God.”

 

If our faith is not of the heart, how can we seek and respond to Him? With all this fear and staying on the surface with the Lord, we are losing out. If we keep our hearts hidden from God how can we be really in relationship with him. I want God to know my heart. I want this faith to be real – the joy and the pain. I want God to know my heart because it’s the only way it will obey, grow, heal, strengthen and become new. It’s one of the ways I will know Him more fully. Even if He has to break my heart to get in there more, I still want that.  

 

I know it’s so hard to open up. I know it is so hard to trust. I know that many times when you have trusted others, it has ended up in hurt. But I want you to know that trusting in Him, you can never lose. It’s not like trusting in others. I really hope you hear these words today, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”  

 

I hope it is your prayer tonight that you whisper as you go to sleep. It’s a pure prayer, one that will most assuredly be answered by the one who loves us unconditionally and will lovingly enter any inviting and welcoming heart – filling up emptiness, chasing away wickedness, lighting darkness, and awakening the flame of the Holy Spirit. And once you’ve let Him in, really in, He never leaves.

 

Amen.     

 

Discussion Questions

1. When you read this verse, what is your immediate reaction? Why?
2. Are you just “talking the talk”? How can you go deeper?
3. What will God find if He searches you and knows your heart? Do you know that it’s okay, no matter what he finds there?
4. What is one way you can let God in your life more?

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