Whispers

Once upon a time, I sat next to a girl in a class in which the desks were two-person desks. Often the teacher would go around the room and randomly ask quiz-type questions of students. And often when the girl I sat next to would hesitate or seem to be stuck, I would lean closer and discreetly whisper the answers. I loved that. I felt helpful and it seemed to work without the teacher noticing – so it felt like an accomplishment. Years later I would whisper words of care and encouragement to a young mother who just lost her child. I often whisper to my children as they are falling asleep, “God loves you and I love you.” There are those times when church members have embraced me after a worship service and have whispered to me “I love you brother – thank you.” And then there are those whispers from God himself over the years – coming just at the right time and always what I needed to hear.

I never thought about too much before but I love whispering. It’s different than regular talking. It suggests closeness and usually what is being said when whispering is more meaningful than conversational stuff.

I think of these Living Waters as a kind of whispering. In some ways, in the present I am still trying whisper answers to the girl from that class as well as other people. But today the answers are much more complex than that teacher’s questions posed. There are a lot of questions that are unspoken. Questions of faith, worth, grace, overcoming the past, and many others – are just not the things that come up in regular conversation. Maybe it’s not so much about literal answers as it is about caring and trying to answer or encourage. I want to be a person who people trust to speak, write or whisper helpful, faithful answers or encouragement whether during a quiz, at celebrations, during the worst moments, and just everyday life.

So, I hope that these “whispers” offer some answers for you or someone you know and care about….

“I am not good enough; I am not worthy and not worth the effort.”

Dear one, none of us are. If you think I am “good” – I am not good enough either! That is where grace comes in. It takes away the performance part or the “good enough” in relating to God. Grace is the great equalizer. There is nothing we (or anyone else) can do to add to or subtract from it. It just is. It’s not ours because of our family name, nor how many good things we have done, nor wealth or status – there is no amount of sins that can diminish it. And, God decided that we all were worth the effort when He sent Jesus to the cross. Imagine that. He went to the cross for you and for me so that we could access the grace by believing in Him. God’s choice to love us is not based on anything we have done or will do – it’s a choice based on His heart. It’s not about how good we are. It’s not about worthiness in society’s terms. I am also reminded of the story of the lost sheep in Luke 15 – where Jesus talks about a shepherd that leaves the 99 sheep to find the lost one. In this world, so often we are just numbers. In God’s eyes we are treasures – worth risking for, worthy dying for.

If I show up at church, you and people at the church are going to know that I am struggling with something or that I stand out – and probably judge me for stuff like my appearance.

My dear friend, that’s true – some people may see and know. But if it is an authentic, gracious group of believers – you will be able to see and hear that we are all struggling with something – fighting some kind of battle. We are all struggling with sin and always will – it’s a battle. And I agree that when churches are judgmental, it offends God and is the opposite of what they are supposed to be about. But you are right, sometimes it’s more obvious – addictions, guilt, and other things can be more visible. An authentic, gracious group of believers will not judge you and will be able to welcome and love you in Jesus’ name and that can be so healing. Also, you will probably find others who can walk alongside you and may be further down the same road and can help you. I’m just saying that staying away or staying home may feel safer; but I ask you to consider that you may be losing out on the encouragement and community you need to survive and even overcome what you are wrestling with.

It’s so hard for me to trust and be open. I am afraid that if I trust God more and lean on Him more, I will only get more hurt and disappointed. Likewise with Christians too. In my life, I trust others and they just let me down – so I am done trying.

My cherished one, I hear you that trusting hasn’t worked. I hear you that it is scary and scarring. It sounds like you have put your trust in God before and it didn’t work out the way you hoped. Maybe you felt abandoned by Him. Many people feel like that. As well, it sounds like people you trusted have betrayed you – leaving you wanting to turn away. Understandably, that could be a valid choice given your experience. It’s a choice between not getting hurt anymore – which will seem to require some degree of isolation and not risking anything – safety. I don’t want to take away from your experience – it’s real. But just hear me because there is another choice. It’s the choice of risking and trusting and being vulnerable. Because, yes, turning away and hiding will be safer and will probably keep you from getting hurt. But it will also close you off from a lot of other things too. Things like encountering the peace and grace of God that He so wants you to know and experience. Things like the joy and love of authentic, real relationships with others. Things like these require trust, risk and yes, sometimes won’t work. I know firsthand, that trusting God can be terrifying – but I found on the other side that it is worth it – God actually knows what He is doing 😉 and it’s always for our best. I know firsthand that Christian community can be ugly and terrible. But I also have seen and experienced it at its best and I have listened to the testimony of many people who have said that their church friends have “saved their lives” and kept them going when there was no hope. I just want to encourage you by saying that risking and trusting and letting God and others in – and the strength and fellowship that will flow from it – will far outweigh the disappointment and hurt.

If you and others really knew me, knew what I have done or been through, you wouldn’t love me or care for me anymore.

Beloved, I understand that it is easy to think that and that may be what you have experienced before. But I would say this…my experience is the more I know people, the deeper I know people, the more I am moved to love and care for them – no matter what they have done or been through. When you look at people and the world through Christ’s eyes, you see things very differently. When I see brokenness – I see beauty. When I see hurting – I see ways to heal and restore. When I see people battling guilt or addictions or the past – I see strength and resolve – not a failure. And I know this – God’s grace and strength works through – not around – through our brokenness. Nothing in God’s economy is wasted – now He is holy and doesn’t look the other way or excuse stuff – we still have to ask for mercy and grace. But He will use everything to draw us closer to Him. How can I do any less by judging or thinking that I am better or above anyone? No way. Just like with God, the more I share with Him, the more I know His grace. Same thing with me. That’s what I am trying to do. One more thing – why I love you and care for you is not based on what you do or don’t do – it’s based on God leading me and my heart. You are loveable because God created you – Psalm 139:13-14. Like it says in the Bible, “perfect love casts out fear.” I want you to “give to the winds your fear.”

I already feel awful about myself, why would I want to come hear a sermon to remind me how awful I am. And besides, if I show up, I won’t know what to do – when to stand up or sit down – all of that stuff. It’s just going to be embarrassing all around.

Dear one, I am sorry that you feel awful about yourself. That must be a lot of weight to carry around. You know, a big difference between Jesus and Satan as well as communities that are grace-full and graceless is this – Jesus and His grace convict – Satan and judgmental people condemn. Conviction, if done well, lovingly points people to what the Bible says and allows the Holy Spirit to work in us to see what we are not following God’s ways, and how turn back to Him. Condemnation just tells people how awful they are and has no love or any interest in real redemption in it. What I am trying to do in sermons is lovingly and passionately show what God’s Word says about life – real life – and how it applies to our everyday lives. And that includes how devastating sin is, but also how through Jesus and the cross we are saved and it gives us the power and grace to overcome anything. And to keep reminding Christians that we are blessed to be a blessing – to take the gifts of salvation and fellowship and share it with the community and world and people who need God. As far as worship and standing up and sitting down, I am at a very welcoming church – just watch other people and it will become clear. It’s not a test or a performance – it’s about sacrificially giving something of yourself – your heart, attention and thoughts, prayers, voice – that’s worship – that is what God smiles on.

I hope these whispers are helpful. But I know they are just words. But more than words, I want you to look at my life, and see Christ working in and through me and trust in that above anything I can say or do. See and hear Him through me – that is what I want for you…

Love, Christopher

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New Review of the book Giving Faith a Second Chance

Awesome review of Giving Faith a Second Chance – please read:

In his book, “Giving Faith a Second Chance,” author Christopher B. Wolf appeals to Christians who feel distanced from God. A self-proclaimed “benefactor of second chances and do-overs,” Wolf offers spiritual advice coupled with compassion to bring Christians back into an interactive relationship with God.
The purpose of “Giving Faith a Second Chance” is to restore and renew believers. It describes various emotions and behaviors that keep people from the presence of God. For example, Wolf includes chapters on shame, grief, addiction, anger, fear, depression, sin and others. He then provides the reader with a fresh look at the situation, and then offers both a personal and Biblical perspective on how to deal with these issues of life.

In the “A Homecoming” chapter of the book, Wolf refers to the story of the Prodigal Son and says this: “We start facing the truth, at the rope end. At the same time, it’s incredible how the end of the rope jars our memories of good things like old pictures — of what can still be good.”

I recommend “Giving Faith a Second Chance” to every Christian who has been offended, disappointed, discouraged or who has gotten weary in the spiritual battle. I also recommend this book to Christian leaders and pastors looking for a compassionate approach to reach Christians who have fallen away from God.

— Jamee Rae Pineda, author of Follow the Solid Rock Road: Pathway to Radical Recovery

 

http://www.christopherbwolf.com

 

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Credible Christianity

“Can you hear me now?”

This of course was the catch phrase for a top cell phone provider. It was meant to show that its coverage was so wide that it can be received anywhere.

But as you know with communication – it’s one thing to be heard. But there is another question.

“Do you trust and believe me/us?”

This is the question believers and churches might want to be asking today because it seems in North America, the answer from many people is “not really.”

Remember how this all started? Jesus drawing lots and lots of people to himself (with the exception of those who were threatened by him). Likewise, the early Jesus followers as chronicled in Acts 2 were drawing lots of people, causing awe and wonder and winning the goodwill of many. Not exactly what is happening today…

As my good friend Greg and I were discussing recently, some believers and churches today seem to be repelling people more than drawing or attracting them.

Why?

Good question. Here are some thoughts…

Most of it has to do with ethos. Ethos is the Greek-based English word in rhetoric terms that evaluates the speaker’s character and believability.

And what has happened is that American Christianity has become increasingly un-believable on a broad scale, in some churches and in the lives of individual believers.

Author and teacher Patrick Morely says, “The American Gospel has evolved into a gospel of addition without subtraction…we can add Christ to our lives, but not subtract sin. It is a change in belief without a change in behavior. It is a spiritual experience without any cultural impact. It is a revival without reformation or repentance.” I would never say that following Christ is easy. But one thing that seems to have happened is that Christianity has unwittingly (or not) become entangled with American consumerism – bigger, better, more, and superficial in many ways. In other words – it looks great, but is hollow inside. Because while a superficial, country club version of Christianity may be safe and make people feel good – it does not transform inside nor impact the culture around it – it just self-serves. It does not draw people earnestly seeking God because they can sense that there is nothing “new” and “life-giving” in this kind of Christianity.

There is this key scene in the film Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. It’s the scene where Indy finds his way into this chamber where the Holy Grail (the cup Jesus used at the Last Supper) was kept. Indy is followed by two Nazi officials who are after the power associated with the Grail. Once in this chamber, filled with dozens of different cups and chalices, the Nazi bad guy starts to look for the “best” because of course as he says, it’s the cup of the “Kings of Kings.” So he takes a drink of water from a golden and ornate grail and he ages with terrifying speed and becomes a skeleton and basically explodes. Now it’s up to Indy to “choose wisely” according to the old crusader who is guarding the room. Indy shares his thoughts out loud, “The cup of a carpenter.” Indy chooses a very simple cup and alas, it was “the” one.”

The point being there is a huge difference between what we have made Christianity to be and what it actually is – in the purest sense. And therein is this credibility gap and the consequences – the confusion, the division, the repelling and more. We have many believers used to, expecting and defending a golden, ornate version (yes, like an idol) of church and that is why many churches are dying and have long since stopped drawing new believers.

But not all churches are dying. The ones that have the real Jesus at the center, that are missional, that are willing to lose themselves for the sake of the Gospel, that are passionate about reaching the dechurched (people who have walked away from faith and church) and unbelievers are alive and well. Some in North America, but largely in South America and in Africa. They have grasped the roots of early Christianity – when it was authentically dynamic and appealing.

Jesus himself was drawing people through his radical, transforming love and grace, forgiveness, compassion, faithful teaching and God’s power fully on display in his resurrection.

See, Paul knew that to draw people to Jesus, they had to resemble Christ. So he wrote, “Our work as God’s servants gets validated – or not – in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly…with pure heart, clear head…; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we’re telling the truth…when we’re praised, and when we’re blamed; slandered, and honored; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God; terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all (2 Corinthians 6:3-10 The Message).” Resembling both the wondrous life of, as well as the cross of, Christ. The glory and the cross cannot be separated.

This is what was drawing people to believe – authenticity – not a show, not a routine, not what “we want,” not a path of comfort, and not even really attractive on the surface – yet offering something real – new and eternal life and a strength and assurance beyond anything this world can offer. Paul pleaded with his friends, “Dear, dear, Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life…(2 Corinthians 6:11).” Amen!

When churches think of outreach today, often the thinking is “programs.” And they have their value. But the very best outreach is a church and members on fire for the Lord in their lives – sharing the struggles of carrying crosses as well as the joy that nothing in the world can take away – and the transformational power and love of God via the power of the Holy Spirit visibly working in their lives. Because as sixteenth century poet and theologian Richard Baxter wrote, “When the people see that you truly love them, they will hear anything from you.”

It’s a mirror moment. Churches and believers need to be looking in the mirror and asking tough questions. Questions like, “Do we resemble the real Jesus, or some kind of glossy, safe, comfortable version of Him?” “Why aren’t people visiting our church?” “When was the last time we baptized a new adult believer?” “Do people see God working in my life?” “Are people inspired to learn more about Jesus or trust more because of the way I live my life?”

For me, it’s about enabling people to believe in God more because of the way they see and hear how I live, learn, lose and love – how clearly they can see and believe in Jesus through me. I just want to be out there saying, “Here I am – no tricks, no gimmicks, when it is all stripped away – I love the Lord and it’s changed my life and I want to share that with you and I want you to know He loves you too.”

People can see and hear us – but do they believe us?

Amen.

Pastor Christopher B. Wolf is the author of Giving Faith a Second Chance (2007) and the forthcoming With You: Every Step of the Way (2011)

Rev. Christopher B. Wolf

Isaiah 42:7

cbrianwolf@sbcglobal.net

www.christopherbwolf.com

“It is a matter of sharing and bearing the pain and puzzlement of the world so that the crucified love of God in Christ may be brought to bear healingly upon the world at exactly that point.” N.T. Wright

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Nearness and Hope (What We Need)

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

 

We live in a world of joy and heartbreak. But it often seems like the heartbreak is more prominent. Reading or watching the news gives a daily dose of everything that is wrong in the world. But we know it is much closer than that.

 

There is the heartbreak of today. Sometimes it is the struggles in our families that are in our faces all the time. The job loss or loss of assets. There is the heartbreak of today that cuts each time we look at a spouse that we don’t even know anymore. When we failed the test or exam. When we got the diagnosis. There is the heartbreak of today that hurts each time we think of the family members or friends we can’t reach in faith and love.

What does “brokenhearted” mean? According to the dictionary, “Overcome by grief or despair.” But in real life it is this awful, beyond words feeling. It feels like there is no hope – that it can’t be fixed or can’t get better. It feels like your eyes cannot possibly produce the amount of tears that are welled up inside. It is hard to breathe, hard to move, hard to live.

 

Then there is the heartbreak of yesterday. Our hearts and our memories have their share of heartbreak – this cumulative heartbreak of life. Standing at the end of the bed in ICU as your loved one’s pulse slowly, gradually descends to zero. The family, friends and people we didn’t let in. All the failures, all the attempts, all the dead ends. The quiet but permanent changes in cherished relationships. When we didn’t make the team. These are shattered pieces of yesterday’s heartbreak.

 

Which leads to “crushed in spirit.” When we are “crushed in spirit” it is the feeling of absolute defeat. It is like the life has been drained or ripped out of us.

 

Both of these, heartbroken and “crushed in spirit” seem to have at least one thing in common – they both leave us feeling like there is nothing we can do about them when they are visited upon us…

 

This verse offers a revelation. Nearness and Hope. Can’t these two make the difference? Nearness in the heartbreak of life; Hope for when all seems lost. When Jesus came into this world, God was nearer than ever before; and with the Holy Spirit’s continuing presence – God remains near. And God saves the “crushed in spirit” – it may not look like the rescue we dream of, but it is God’s character. Sometimes it is through the power of the Word, the presence of the Holy Spirit and even through other humans.

 

Listen to the lyrics of the song “Broken Things” by Julie Miller, “Then you walked into my darkness/And you speak words so sweet/And you hold me like a child/Till my frozen tears fall at your feet.” This is what Jesus does; this is what we can do for each other in His name.

 

As you read this, if and when you are heartbroken, if and when you are crushed in spirit, please know God is near and offering you hope.

 

Discussion Questions

1. Please reflect on some times of heartbreak and how it feels.
2. How can we sense that God is near?
3. Why does God allow us to become heartbroken and crushed in spirit?
4. What can you do for someone else who is heartbroken and crushed in spirit?

 

 

Rev. Christopher B. Wolf

Isaiah 42:7

cbrianwolf@sbcglobal.net

www.christopherbwolf.com

 

“It is a matter of sharing and bearing the pain and puzzlement of the world so that the crucified love of God in Christ may be brought to bear healingly upon the world at exactly that point.” N.T. Wright

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The Making of a Pastor

Psalm 139:15-16

The Making of a Pastor

 

“You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.” Psalm 139:15-16 The Message

 

There is a plan…

 

A plan for you and me – each one of us.

 

As the verse says, I have been built from “nothing into something.” God has purposefully woven people, events and experiences into the fabric of my life. The plan? As far as I can tell, it has been to shape me into a man who is able to share the love, hope, grace and presence of Christ with others through communicating, caring, encouraging and leading – in a word, a pastor. There are times in our lives when we have epiphanies or moments of clarity – and realize that all along there has a design and plan – authored by someone else – God. If I can claim any success in this life, I certainly can’t take credit for it – it has been all Him. Looking back, I can see the plan with clarity. I wanted to share some key parts of how God was working in my life to call me to be a pastor.  

 

The Kitchen

My first call in ministry was to be a counselor and my “sanctuary” was the small kitchen of our upstairs garden apartment and I had one member. I was about ten years old. It was when, for better or worse, I began to be a listener and encourager for my mom. For sure, this was not normal or healthy. And looking back now, I understand it all. But at the time, it seemed very natural to be a good and helpful son and try to listen and understand my mother’s pain and struggles. I know I was mature for my age and certainly this experience contributed to that. Growing up, both my parents and others would frequently say to me, “Lighten up; you are so serious.” I don’t think any of us realized at the time that I was serious because I was already an adult. But I learned how to be comfortable and compassionately engaged with another’s pain, tears (so many tears), and heartbreaks. And I learned how to be patient and persevering in prayer. I served in this kitchen ministry all the way to the end of her life. Careful observers at her visitation would remember that for most of the hours, I stood near her and her casket. I was still guarding her. It was my job – to walk with her, all the way home. I kept/keep the secrets. I bore the burdens. I was the wind beneath her broken wings.  

 

Conversations

“Can I go upstairs and get my Bible?” the joyful, pretty freshman said to me as she dashed up to her dorm room. “This is a unique kind of date,” I thought to myself as I watched her with wonder. And it was the beginning of a now twenty-year journey with the woman who would become my wife, Jennifer. Her joy and enthusiasm was and is a great balance to my seriousness and she awakened in me a very living Christian spirituality. Prior to meeting Jenny, my faith was “private.” I loved reading the Bible and had many theological thoughts, but it was through our conversations that I was able to start talking about it and sharing it. She opened the door for me in so many ways and certainly for going into ministry.  

 

Spokesman

For a little over two years, I was the spokesman for the New Jersey Department of Community Affairs. It was a very visible, high pressured, exciting job which I loved most of the time. It consisted of speaking to print, radio and sometimes television reporters on a daily basis on a wide variety of topics – all to be quoted for publication or broadcast. In my mind, I wasn’t just a spokesperson, I was the “protector” or “shepherd” of my department and its people against several (wolves) enemies – the media, the other political party and others. In many ways, it was a great experience, in my role as pastor, I function as a kind of spokesperson for God via His Word. When I write Living Waters or work on sermons, I am asking the question, “Lord what do you want to say to your people this week?” 

 

Evidence

I hadn’t seen this friend in a long time. And then Jenny and I saw her at my ten year reunion. And I can’t tell you how or why, but I was concerned about her. I had always prayed for her on my “list” along with others since I had met her in the sixth grade. But this was different. It felt like God was saying “keep praying for her.” And ever since then, I’ve had an aspiration to recognize, reach out to, and lift up people whose struggles may not be very visible and may feel far away from God – the “one mores” of the world. As well, learning to communicate hope to people I can’t see or hear and really don’t know their language – in other words, communicating by faith. Both of these led to the motivation for writing my book, Giving Faith a Second Chance, which is essentially an open letter of hope. The blessing in this has been that God has shaped me to seek to be evidence for how much He cares for His children – whether they are close or far away.  

 

Purpose

I was on my way. After leaving the state department, I was a director at a small public relations firm. We were winning state-wide awards, and had a strong client list. And then “he” happened. One of my two treasures, my son Brian. And just looking at him started a revolution in my mind. I asked myself, “How do I want Brian (and now Madelyn too) to remember me in my life?” And it is through that question that the idea of going into ministry was finally revealed. All of the things I had done and experienced all came together exactly ten years ago this summer. Asking that question really forced me to think what my life, my purpose on this earth was. And the answer was, “I want to be with people in the triumphs and tragedies of life – sharing and encouraging as a representative of Jesus.” As God usually does, the answers were all there, it just had to be revealed at the right time. And so I really was on my way, on God’s way – starting seminary and being more formally shaped for ministry…

 

But I had been on the way the whole time, sometimes aware, sometimes not. “All the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day (Psalm 139:16).” I believe this without a doubt – not just when life is good. Not just when it is going the way I want it to. And nothing is wasted from God’s perspective. Even the worst and shattering parts of our lives – He wants to convert them into healing and strength for others and signs pointing to Him. If we would only be more open to Him using us in this way. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever (Ephesians 3:20)!”

 

I thank you for listening/reading this week and I encourage you to reflect on God’s plan for your life – from where has He brought you? Where does He have you now? Where is He going to take you?

 

Amen.

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